Chris LunaOne of the most common questions that men ask me is, “When is the right time to kiss a woman?”
The answer is simple, but for many a bit frustrating: You kiss a woman when it feels right.
For the men out there who are still developing an instinct for that right moment, I feel for you because I remember being there. But this simple guide will make all the difference.
There are six elements that need to be present to kiss a woman:
Element 1 – Personal Space
She needs to be letting you move in and out of her personal space. As a rule of thumb, personal space is within a foot. If she jumps back when you move into her personal space, then she is not ready to kiss you.
Element 2 – Prolonged Physical Contact
She needs to be letting you touch her for a prolonged period of time. Every day, somewhere in the world, a man strikes up a conversation with a woman that he’s attracted to. After a prolonged conversation, he attempts to kiss her, only to be rejected. He assumed that she was attracted to him, but even if she was, she thought she had just made a friend. If you’re not touching her, then you’re in the friend zone.
Element 3 – Good Emotions
Entering a woman’s personal space and touching her for a prolonged period of time will make her nervous if she’s not comfortable with these advances. Pay attention to her body language. If she’s uncomfortable, her behavior will let you know. On the other hand, if she’s feeling good emotions (smiling, laughing, engaging), then you probably have the comfort you need to kiss her.
Element 4 – Sexual Context
The interaction needs to be under a sexual context. If you have all the elements above, she is comfortable with you, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is sexual tension. To create this, put the interaction into a sexual context. The easiest way to do this is to verbalize it. Tell her that she has an amazing sexual energy, pull her close and tell her she smells incredible, look down at her lips and then back at her eyes and tell her she has the sexiest lips. There are many ways to do this. Be creative, be honest, and let her know you’re attracted to the power of her femininity.
Element 5 – Eye Contact
I’ve never seen someone successfully kiss a woman without having eye contact prior to leaning in. Solid eye contact is a sign of confidence. By making eye contact with her, you’re making her feel more comfortable with you, and making it easier to build an emotional connection with her.
Element 6 – Willing to Take the Risk
Once the previous five elements are present, go for the kiss! At this point she’s expecting it.
Hopefully this helps you get your first kiss. I still smile when I think back to my first kiss, when I was a senior in high school. If this guide helps you, email me and tell me about it. I would love to hear your stories!
Chris Luna
Founder, CEO, and Head Dating & Life Coach @ Craft of Charisma dating and relationship coaching.