Building Trust and Leadership - with Robin Dreeke

Guest Introduction:

Robin Dreeke is a former US Marine Corps Officer and former head of The Behavioral Analysis Program. Today he is a recognized expert, author, and lecturer in communication, behavior, and trust-building. He is the founder of People Formula, and the author of several books, including “The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert’s Five Rules to Lead and Succeed.”

Interview Summary:

In this interview, Robin first discusses his background and experience in the U.S. Naval Academy, Marine Corps, and the FBI and counterintelligence. He talks about coming to the realization that he had the wrong leadership and soft skills for building trust. He then expands on the idea of being a resource to others to help them achieve what they want. Robin goes into the main needs that we all seek to fulfill: peace, prosperity, and health. He also describes what healthy relationships look like, and why they’re a key part of achievement and success.

Chris talks about letting go of the ego in order to connect with others, and Robin explains how ego and vanity undermine us. He emphasizes that all humans seek to be affiliated with and valued by others, and discusses the importance of making people feel great about themselves. Robin then provides examples of questions to ask to understand people’s priorities. He also discusses the essentials of listening, and explains how to have a mutual exchange that’s authentic and free of competition.

Next, Robin expands on The Code of Trust, and walks us through the five main tenets in his book. He talks about how to discover someone’s goals, priorities, context, speak the language they want to hear, and craft the encounter. Robin offers a number of examples on how to apply each of these tenets. He then describes four ways to make a person feel valued and affiliated in a conversation. He discusses how to seek thoughts and opinions, talk in terms of the other person’s priorities, validate or seek to understand, and power with choices.

We ask Robin to share the most important things that he learned about communication and behavior while in the Marines and as head of the Behavioral Analysis Program. He talks about his first evaluation in the Marines and how it changed his perspective. Then he explains how he learned the skills of trust and leadership while working in the FBI recruiting spies. Robin emphasizes the importance of sincerity, generosity, and genuineness. He also discusses why manipulation destroys trust, and how to demonstrate congruity between your words and feelings.

Robin then expands on the idea of being a resource for others. He talks about what healthy relationships mean to him, and contrasts them with unhealthy relationships. He also discusses the importance of honesty and transparency, and describes how people respond when communicating with full honesty and transparency. We ask Robin how he identified and developed these frameworks for building trust and leadership. He explains why trust became such a big value for him, and how his experience in the Marines contributed to this.

Finally, Robin describes his process of going over the conversations he has each day. He explains how to mitigate self-centeredness by taking note of people’s strengths and priorities. He also discusses how he and his wife nurture healthy communication in their household. We ask Robin how he met his wife, and how he knew that she was the person he wanted to marry. He talks about their relationship, and shares some of the things that he’s grateful for. He leaves us with practical advice for finding a life partner.