Coming Full Circle

“Chemistry: it is the study of change. Well that’s… that’s all of life… right? I mean, it’s just the constant, it’s the cycle. It is growth, then decay, then transformation.” — Walter White (Breaking Bad)

If you’re thinking I’ve dropped everything in my life and transformed into a ruthless, Machiavellian, amoral rogue college student to cook meth, then you’re almost right.

My journey started like a lot of you. I was single, frustrated, lonely, incredibly awkward, and living with a sense of no control. I felt emasculated, and for my entire life I had this bubbling feeling that I was missing out on something. I felt ashamed to be a man, and honestly with myself.

At the time, I couldn’t trace the cause, but looking back, a lot of it had to do with my dating life – or lack thereof. I made a decision that I’d had enough. I was fed up with having no choices, feeling lonely, and most of all feeling like I had been robbed of something. I knew that something could be done if I applied myself and stopped wallowing in a pool of self-loathing. Instead, I decided to grab my future by the balls and take responsibility for every aspect of my personal, academic, social, and dating life. This began my journey into the world of self-development.

Before I take you there, I need to take a step back to give you better perspective. I wasted the majority of my teenage years obsessed over one girl. And still, I managed to get rejected by countless others, including anyone I asked to go with me to my senior prom.

It was around this time that I picked up and read “The Game” by Neil Strauss. For those who’ve never seen it, the book looks like a bible, with it’s black leather cover and golden crested pages. And as outdated as it feels when I read it now, at the time, it gave me hope, when I didn’t have much of it. This was because I’d always held the false belief that people were born sexy and smooth. I didn’t realize that attraction or sex appeal could actually be learned.

I started to teach myself the foundations of dating, by getting out of my house more and meeting up with like-minded people. I used the book as a guide, and reached out to the pick-up artist (PUA) community, hoping to find guys like myself. I attended a few creepy PUA meetings, and met some creepy guys. This made me question some of the things in the book. I started to wonder, “Do I really have to learn magic tricks, routines, paint my nails, wear eyeliner, and wear ridiculous clothes to meet women?”

I still wasn’t giving up, so I started doing more research, which is how I stumbled upon Craft of Charisma. I read numerous reviews and found whatever I could about this guy Chris Luna who started the company. I decided to attend one of his weekly meetups, and I was immediately captivated and sold on taking his intensive Dating Mastery Program.

I didn’t believe the program was my ticket out of oblivion, nor a magic pill that would solve all my problems. Instead, what sold me on the program was Chris Luna himself. I felt a sense of genuine honesty, stability, and a sense of realism from Chris. After I emotionally committed to taking this program, I came to a realization, “I’m in college, how the fuck am I gonna make $5,000?” So like Walter White, I went rogue and decided to cook and sell my meth. It was called Yellow Sky, which was meshed together with Asian spices… Obviously, I’m kidding.

I made the money to pay for the program through honest hard work and long hours. I put myself through Bartending School, and became a bartender. To make this work, I attended classes during the day as a full-time college student, and I stayed up late pouring drinks. I also did some unforgivable things that involved being shirtless, wearing a bow tie, and carrying trays full of shots for bachelorettes, but we’ll save those stories for another time.

More importantly, after another focused year on my self-development journey, I found that I was in phenomenal shape, had improved my style and grooming, and I was surrounded by positive and ambitious people. I also managed to save some extra money. I paid off the remaining payments, and that summer I finally took the Dating Mastery Class.

I came into the program with no expectations, though I did have some real doubts. I was the youngest person in the class, and I wondered how I was going to overcome all the self-limiting beliefs and anxieties I’d internalized over the years that were holding me back.

Honestly, the first couple of weeks were rough. Chris didn’t even know that I wasn’t 21, and wouldn’t be until the middle of the program. But I wasn’t going to wait another school year to fix this area of my life, so I snuck into all the bars and clubs to go infield and to get feedback from the coaches.

Trying to implement the strategies that we learned in the workshop portion of the program, during our live infield sessions, created a lot of emotional ups and downs. And yet, the coaches, alumni, Chris, and other students helped get me through it. The other students understood what I was working through, because they were suffering. In the case of Chris, the coaches, and the alumni, they had gone through similar issues. Even though everything didn’t sink in right away, I pushed myself hard and came out the other end a different man, a man with a sense of choice and control.

It’s now been one year since I took the Dating Mastery Program, and my life has changed so much. This really became clear on a recent Saturday night when Chris asked me to come out and help coach the current students. Helping these guys get over their fears of approaching women, starting conversations, touching, being more playful, and all the other issues that I was struggling with a year ago, really gave me perspective. It was like looking at a snapshot of my former self.

At the moment, as I’m sitting in a Starbucks telling you my story, I can’t help but eye a cute brunette who just ordered an ice macchiato. But I do so with a sense of appreciation, control, confidence, and happiness. Does this mean that I’m a master of dating? Fuck no. But I’m getting there… Growth, decay, transformation, things are coming full-circle.

‘Til next time, we’re always here for you guys!

-Rob