Chris LunaIf you’re new to the dating scene, whether you lack experience or because you’re just getting back into the game, the task of asking for a woman’s phone number can come across as awkward and clumsy, but it doesn’t need to.
This is important, because emotions transfer to the people you’re interacting with. If you’re confident in what you’re doing, they’ll feel confident in you, and react accordingly.
If not, she won’t feel the emotions that she’ll need to feel in order to:
- Give you her correct number
- Respond when you reach out to her
- Follow through and see you again
Having a process to follow will make this much easier. If you practice this process many times (we do it over and over again in our Dating Mastery Program and our 3-Day Dating Bootcamp), then you’ll build the experiences you’ll need to come across as relaxed and confident when asking for her number. As a result of this, she’ll be much more likely to want to see you again.
With that said, what is your goal when you ask for a number? Obviously it’s to see her again.
The phone number is a bridge to take the interaction that you’re having into some moment in the future. This is essential if you want to continue the relationship, either as friends or to seduce her. When you get her number, make tentative plans to meet up with her and to text or call her, that way she’s expecting it.
In our classes, when we teach how to get a woman’s phone number, we often talk about getting to normal. Normal relationships are those that you have with the people you are closest to. This might include your parents, best friends, siblings, etc.
Regardless of who it is, when you call them, you don’t overthink it. Before you call, you don’t normally plan what you’re going to say, call your friends for advice, or rearrange your schedule for the perfect time to call. But guys often do this before they call a woman that they’re attracted to.
Instead, you just call these people, and if they don’t pick up, it’s not a big deal. If they call you, you answer it when you can, and if not, you call them back when you’re able to.
This is what close relationships feel like when maintained over the phone. She knows what these relationships feel like because she’s in several of them already. When the way that you follow up with her is consistent with the communication she has with people that are close to her, she’ll feel that comfort, and she’ll feel closer to you.
Chris Luna
Founder, CEO, and Head Dating & Life Coach @ Craft of Charisma dating and relationship coaching.