Chris LunaDo you think you need to impress a woman by having a Ferrari, a Rolex, or a Park Avenue penthouse? If that’s the strategy you use, you’re fighting a battle you’ll never win. There’s a much simpler strategy that you can use to impress a woman who you’re interested in.
But first, let’s explore why the traditional narrative–that financial success should be enough for you to find a mate–doesn’t tell the whole story.
Why You Shouldn’t Depend on Money
First, there is the obvious reason that there’s always going to be a wealthier guy. But even if you create a situation where you are the wealthiest, it might not matter. A recent study out of Princeton University’s Woodrow Wilson School shows that once a person reaches $75,000 per year in income, money stops affecting their happiness in a measurable way.
Let’s break down why.
Say, for example, a woman makes $75,000–or perhaps a bit more in a high-cost city like New York or Los Angeles. Even if you make $600,000, the bump in lifestyle she gets by allying herself with you is not going to make her happier (unless she has unusually expensive taste and needs more money to feel satisfied).
$75,000 per year is about the amount of money she needs to provide herself with basic security and comfort in a major city. It allows her to rent a studio or one-bedroom in a safe neighborhood. If she plans financially, she should have no problem saving enough for retirement, and there’s no reason why she shouldn’t have six months of living expenses in her savings accounts. $75,000 permits her to have a cell phone, a laptop, go to restaurants a few times a month, and go on vacations. Even if she had children as a sole provider, she could send them to college with the help of financial aid or state subsidies.
My point is that she can support herself and her basic needs. If you think about money in terms of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, then the Princeton study makes sense. If a woman has handled her need for physiological and financial security on her own, then she is going to look for more in her relationships, including love, emotional support, and self-actualization. She will seek out confidence and emotional intelligence, which provide emotional stability.
What This Means For You
If you’ve spent your whole life running rat races to attract women with money, then learning that money probably won’t attract them can be devastating. But from the standpoint of your dating and sex life, this is actually good news.
Emotional intelligence and social confidence can be mastered in anywhere from a few months to a year at most with the right mentorship, even if you’re really behind. It takes time and effort, but improving your social and dating skills takes far less time and effort than it takes to amass great wealth.
Chris Luna
Founder, CEO, and Head Dating & Life Coach @ Craft of Charisma dating and relationship coaching.