The Keys to Effective Negotiation - with Dr. Joshua Weiss

Guest Introduction:

Dr. Joshua Weiss is a speaker, consultant, and negotiation and conflict resolution expert. He is the co-founder, along with William Ury, of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University and a Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project. Joshua has designed and facilitated negotiation and conflict resolution solutions for businesses, global organizations, governments, and individuals. He is the author of several books including “The Negotiator in You.”

Interview Summary:

In this interview, Joshua starts by discussing his background and how he got into negotiation and conflict resolution. He explains why conflict occurs, and how people can benefit from learning the skills of negotiation. Joshua then gives some examples of how to use negotiation in our relationships and everyday life. He talks about the importance of slowing down the process and understanding what’s important to the other side. He also explains the difference between tangible and intangible needs.

Next, Joshua reveals some of the silent barriers to negotiation, including assumptions and psychological biases. He walks us through a negotiation tool called the Ladder of Inference, and explains how it works. He then gives an example of how he works with his clients to recognize and check their assumptions. Joshua goes on to describe some other silent problems in negotiation, including confirmation bias, entrapment, and suppressing emotions. He also explains how to embrace negotiations in an emotionally intelligent way.

We ask Joshua how to manage emotionally charged negotiations. He emphasizes the importance of stepping away and settling down before making decisions. He also explains how to empathize and understand the other person’s motivations and intentions. Chris then talks about how the negotiation process often helps him gain clarity on his intent. Joshua discusses how to adequately prepare for negotiation. He references Ron Heifetz’s “Leadership Without Easy Answers” and “Leadership on the Line,” as well as Mike Wheeler’s “The Art of Negotiation.”

Chris talks about control and how unexpected things can cause us to become angry, frustrated, or anxious, and taint our communication. Joshua discusses the balance between planning and going with the flow. He then explains why effective listening is so important in negotiation, and offers tips on how to become a better listener. Joshua also describes the two conversation modes: debate mode and dialogue mode. He expands on the idea of gathering information in a non-confrontational manner, and provides examples of great questions to ask.

Joshua goes on to discuss the role of empathy in persuasion. He also clarifies the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness, and offers advice on asserting ourselves and our interests more effectively. Finally, Joshua explains why it’s important to shift from a mindset of competition to cooperation in negotiation, and gives a practical examples of how to implement this. He describes the two main approaches to negotiation: positional and collaborative. He then offers some last words of wisdom and shares his favorite negotiation resources.